I always wanted to push a baby out….

But you don’t always get what you want.

Instead after 36 hours of labor, trying everything to deliver Zoe vaginally, an unplanned C-Section was our last and final option.

There are plenty of things that I don’t like about c-sections.

A c-section is a major surgery. I haven’t really had surgery before so heading into the operating room made me a little nervous.

Right before my c-section, I watched the You Tube video of Ellen interviewing actress Kristen Bell about her c-section. Kristen Bell talked about how she loved the drugs and that the modern hospitals sure know how to take care of you. Although, I agree with the last part, I hated the drugs. They numb you from the nipples down. And let me tell you, it is really weird not to be able to move. The numbness started to wear off, so I was able to hold my baby right after they stitched me up. However, I was unable to walk until the day after my delivery. They put moveable compression tights on my legs to keep circulation flowing. And then the next day, the nurse helped me out of bed to walk. I was a little unstable, but she thought I did great.

Another thing about all the drugs is the fluids they have to give you. I had some swelling during the end of my pregnancy. The swelling started at 35 weeks. Well after the c-section my whole lower body was swollen. My butt, hips, legs, feet… I looked like an elephant. Anyway, the swelling also made it hard to take those first steps. Even though I was super swollen, the swelling went down in a couple days. Everything now is back to normal. I never thought I would be so happy to see veins and bones in my feet.

This really annoys me… I watched two natural child birth documentaries that were pro home birth and natural birth. These documentaries were awesome, but definitely put c-sections in a negative light.  I never thought I would have a c-section so I never read up on it at all. So all I knew about them was what I read and watched on the documentaries. And because they put them in a negative light, my main goal, was to avoid them if possible.

When you are laboring naturally, you trust your body and are only focused on your baby. However, during my c-section I had to put full trust in my doctors and medical team. Although, I only wanted to focus on meeting my baby, because I was having a surgery I never researched or planned for, I not only became concerned about my baby, but also about myself.

If laboring naturally, I wanted to see what was going on. But during my c-section they put up a screen, so you can’t see anything. Because of this, the memory of hearing my baby cry is so vivid and unforgettable.

I wanted to have delayed cord clamping done and have my husband cut the cord once it stopped pulsing. However, because during a c-section they need to work fast to close you up, delayed cord clamping is out of the question. (They can do it for a short bit, but not too the full time.)

I also wanted to have my baby in my arms immediately with all of the fluids on her. But they took her to clean her off first thing. My husband was able to be by her side and watch everything, which was pretty special for him. Mean while my head was turned trying to get a glimpse of her. I was able to see a little. I also wanted to see my husband’s look on his face when he first laid eyes on our daughter. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see his face. He was holding my hand, but was by my side, behind me. Plus everything happened so fast.

Once in the recovery room, my baby latched on and we breast-fed for about 45 minutes. But at first my body was shaking. I kept asking why, they told me it was the hormones. It was annoying, because it was hard to really enjoy that moment when I had uncontrollable shakes. But I held her the best I could. We did skin on skin and it was amazing feeling her warm skin against mine.

Everyone says it is a lot harder to recover from a c-section. This is true. Because of the incision it was hard for me at first to find a comfortable position for both of us to breast-feed. I also am not allowed to lift anything except my baby. So I’m not allowed to lift the car seat or stroller. So I have had my mom, sisters, friends, husband help me.

I went in for my 2 week check up and everything looks good. My next check up is in 4 weeks and we will discuss whether I can start working out again. I am so ready. So far my recovery has been pretty good and smooth. I am no longer on pain meds.

Now for the positive things about a c-section.

During a c-section you can’t see anything, so your ears are very important. The absolute best thing ever was hearing my baby cry. That cry is and will always be unforgettable. I also loved hearing the medical team scream out her birth weight and length. I remember thinking, “Wow, my baby is a big baby!”

Now, although, my husband wasn’t able to cut the cord, he was able to run over to our daughters side and watch the nurse weigh her and clean her up. He also was the first to hold her, and bring her to me. This was very special for him.

Another very awesome thing about having a c-section, is that because it is a major surgery, you get to stay longer in the hospital. Some people may not consider this a positive thing, but for me it was. I’m a first time mom, who needed to stay at the hospital for the full amount of time so I could learn as much as I could from the nurses. The nurses were awesome and taught me a ton. I never felt rushed and even had time to talk with two different lactation consultants. When it was finally time to be discharged, I felt really comfortable heading home with my little one.

At first, I was pretty annoyed that I had to have a c-section, but now looking back it wasn’t that bad. And regardless of whether you have a vaginal birth or a c-section, both are experiences. I experienced a c-section and maybe with my next child I’ll try for a VBAC.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that Erik, Zoe and I are happy and healthy.

Baby Zoe is 4 weeks old today!

Thank you Erik, for making me a mama! Everyday I am even more in love.

© 2015 sweat1xdaily